Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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