How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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