So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
