Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
