i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
