Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
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