Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
