he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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