All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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