so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Randomize
