and you said cock pushups were impossible
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
