New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
