I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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