I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize