He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Randomize
