Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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