I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Randomize
