I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
