he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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