I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Randomize
