If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
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