so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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