I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
