i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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