I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
