I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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