dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
