Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
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My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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