is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
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