Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
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Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
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I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor