You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
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