She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
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