Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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