I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
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