Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize