The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
