Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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