I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
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