mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
