"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.