Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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