happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
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I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
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We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it