there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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