Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
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