my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
