Sponge bath it is.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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