You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
