Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
