I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
