For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
