Christians are straight up FREAKS
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
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She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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