So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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