3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
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