help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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