i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
