Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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