I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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