Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
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