I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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